Don't Wait Until the End

Let your love be known

Back in December I resigned from my job of almost 6 years at a local university. As part of that process, I sent an email to a group of people I work with most directly to let them know of my impending departure. I was not prepared for all of the kind words that flowed into my inbox after that. The many well wishes, expressions of appreciation and gratitude, and personal notes truly encouraged me. As I was thinking about this one day, it struck me that I really had no idea of the impact I was making in my work. I often felt like my work went unnoticed, and while I certainly don’t work so that others will notice, appreciation is still nice, and during my time in my job I often struggled with feeling like my work didn’t matter. Even though my job was in higher education, I did not work directly with students very often, so it was harder to see the effects of my labor. But there in my inbox was concrete proof that even if my work didn’t matter to everyone, it mattered to these people. Their words were a gift that I could take with me when I left.

This experience caused me to reflect on the fact that so often we wait until the end of something to express what it meant to us. I watched a movie on Netflix recently that featured a character who decided she wanted to be present for her own funeral, so she invited all of her loved ones to come and give eulogies for her while she was still alive. It was a quirky gathering, to be sure, but I was drawn to the idea. Why do we wait until someone dies to talk about how wonderful the person was? Why is a retirement party the time to talk all about how great someone was at their job? Why do we delay declarations of gratitude and love? 

I wonder if part of our hesitancy is due to the fact that we assume there will always be time—time to tell our loved ones how we feel, time to give them one more hug, time to make one more phone call. But the reality is, we are only guaranteed today. As James 4:14 reminds us, we “are a mist that appears for a little time then vanishes.” While we are here—and while those we love are still here—we can take the opportunity of today to speak words of love and encouragement to those around us. More often than not, the words we offer come at just the right time for the recipient. If someone comes to your mind, there is probably a reason. The Holy Spirit works in our hearts and prompts us to reach out, and when we obey that still, small voice, we take part in lifting someone up when it might be needed most. I know that has been the case for me numerous times.

Consider this your nudge not to wait to tell someone in your life what he or she means to you¹. Don’t assume they already know. Don’t assume they don’t need to hear it. When it comes to love, you can never be too generous.

1. If you missed my poem also related to this topic, you can find it here.